Pain can be both easy and quite difficult to describe and/or discuss.
Physical pain is to me the easiest. In it's purest form, physical pain is a reaffirmation of life. If you hurt you must be breathing, although I'm sure that if the pain is intense - say a broken tooth with an exposed nerve, a throbbing hand caused by being a stuck-on-dumb catcher that sticks his fist in front of the catcher's mitt before the arrival of a fastball, or even riding your bike into a car when you were not paying attention to things right in front of you might make you question the happy to be alive notion.
Then there's the pain of loss, betrayal and the like. That's where the description gets sticky as the pain is so personal. Losing a beloved parent - as did Fos and Lady Fos. The kind of pain that leaves you feeling hollow and empty until you begin to celebrate the life of that loved one - at which time the pendulum may swing back to the joy side of the equation. Or the pain of losing a loved one that does not physically depart but simply exists as a shell of their former self.
How do you describe the pain caused by confusion over the loss of a parent that may not have been so beloved but was in many ways respected as well as resented? We are watching that unfold daily through the eyes and words of our friend Ramana.
Then there's the numbing pain of depression - the pain that leaves you feeling helpless, hopeless and lonely, no matter how many people share your residence. It's perhaps the most dangerous pain of all because if you don't take control of it the results can mean loss for your loved ones.
Pain is clearly part of our shared human existence and it is how we respond to it that in many ways shapes us as people and a society. Some people try and internalize pain and keep it to themselves.
Others immediately send out a cry for help.
Whichever side describes you, just remember that you are not alone. Those of you with faith have that. Those of us that do not have faith have friends and family. Don't let pain get the better of you. Hang in there. Pain is not forever.
Please see what other members of our group have to say on the matter -
Anu, Delirious, gaelikaa, Grannymar, Maxi, Maria SF, ocdwriter, Padmum, Paul, Ramana The Old Fossil and Will.
Heartfelt post, Shackman. However, I do disagree with your "remember you are not alone".
ReplyDeleteOf course we are ALONE when in pain. And let no one but no one take that away from us. When it comes to pain there is no safety in numbers. Only morphine.
U
Don't foirget a good unblended scotch Ursula - point well taken. But sometimes sharing helps. Someone. Once in a while. Occasionally. Or not.
DeleteNo, you are not alone and only by opening up and talking about your pain, can others help. We all have pain of some kind, it is called being human.
ReplyDeleteWhat a post Shackman. And what selection of music to go so appropriately with that. I think that you are in the wrong business. you should be a writer of self help books. I salute you.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully thought out and presented, shackman. This is, to me, probably your most eloquent post to date and I think it voices a marvelous capacity to reflect upon life without shying away from its toughest issues. It is not easy to be tough and sensitive at the same time.
ReplyDeleteGM if that is the case I swear some days I must be human cubed :-)
ReplyDeleteRamana most days I have difficulty enough just placing one foot in front of the other and moving forward - not sure helping others in that vain is in my makeup but thanks for that. The music part is really easy by the way.
Thanks Fos - you know me pretty well now that you have more dots to connect.
This is a wonderful post, Shackman. How we respond to pain is what shapes us; I have never given this a thought. Although, I do share your view on the pain of depression.
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you ~ Maxi