The pain these songs are meant to assuage is that really deep, mind numbing pain only a relationship collapse can cause.
Now nobody is suggesting that the actual physical pain of a cancer patient, for example, is not significantly greater than emotional pain. Is it not ironic that two of the most significant physical pains are giving birth and a slow, painful death due to cancer?
Here's a quote I love - One day I hope you look back at all we had, and regret every single thing you did to let it end. That is firing back with both barrels.
Pain is a huge part of life, including our learning processes. We learn from our mistakes - you don't stick your finger into a flame too many times before you realize it hurts and it would be a good idea to stop. That makes pain a great motivator. If you are interested in the various types of pain and the how and why of it check Wikipedia here.
That's a wrap on Pain - this weeks topic, Be sure to check what Ramana has posted here. I'll close with a couple of appropriate tunes.
Coping with pain, whether physical, emotional or both can be a challenge. They can be so intertwined, too. The solace of music and lyrics can sometimes express best some of our deepest emotional feelings. There are circumstances when such intensely painful feelings can shutdown, I think -- perhaps as a self-protective mechanism. Hopefully, their release is forthcoming eventually and not a permanent lockdown. Allowing their expression will be healthy and need not be resisted or feared. While this all seems how we might realize is best, the process doesn't always seem so simple.
ReplyDeleteI have a fairly high pain threshold for physical pain and am in the walk it off school of pain bearing. Part of my love of music has to do with emotional pain. We all have tsuris, It's simply part of life.
DeleteFortunately I've been spared serious physical and emotional pain in my life thus far. I was never close to my parents, so losing them wasn't traumatic, and I've never lost a loved one. I have the usual physical aches and pains but nothing serious. I can only imagine what it's like to suffer intense and enduring physical or emotional pain. It must be terrible to live with.
ReplyDeleteI am about the same Nick - but I have lost a loved one and that was tough. I'm glad you have been spared that pain.
DeleteIt is obvious that both of us have gone through both kinds with different ways of handling them but, at the core is the point that I make in my post. Learning to bear it first helps overcome it. Pain is inevitable, suffering it is optional.
ReplyDeleteFamily joke about bearing pain is walk it off. That's me.
Deleteof the two kinds I think the emotional pain is probably the worst.
ReplyDeletebut then the older I get the less I feel I know.
but I have never felt the sheer anguish with physical pain. whatever part hurts just hurts. anguish is inside and it affects my entire being. loss. there is nothing like it. whether parent. husband. wife. and sometimes even often more... a beloved animal.
and then there is really the part of ourselves too. a loss. of very personal dreams perhaps.
I always liked Boy George. that was an especially poignant clip.
I just came back and listened to the Walker Brothers again.
ReplyDeletewhat a wonderful group. at least that song.
really all of them.
I think you 'think in music' Shack. how lovely that is.
Where you/most people and I differ that I do not seek out music to highlight experiences. There are pieces of music I will never ever listen to again because they evoke such strong feelings (memories, good ones and not so good ones), I don't need the reminder. I actively refuse to be drawn into ... whatever. Which, considering that I am a pretty sentimental person, is somewhat of a contradiction or maybe it's the reason.
ReplyDeleteYou mention "I don't know where we went wrong but the feelings gone and I just can't get it back. That is powerful pain." Is it? A powerful pain? It happened to me once. A crystal clear moment when I had that most delicious moment of absolute certainty. No doubt. Just clarity. It pained me for the other person. All I felt was regret, deep deep regret that I had to disappoint the expectations of someone dear to me (dear to me to this day - difficult to understand for some, I know; but there you go, life is full of mystery and undercurrents).
Other than that, Shackman, between you and Ramana I am sometimes torn when replying to your Friday bests trying to remember whose blog I am actually on. Please do read my response to Ramana as, obviously, your takes on this and any other subject overlap. On his blog I concentrated more on the physical side of pain.
Often a pain to others, yours,
U
Funny in how you make my point while trying to debunk my point with that Lightfoot lyric explains the powerful emotional pain I was speaking of.
DeleteRamana and I are indeed in many ways "brothers from different mothers" We can be very much alike but ultimately he is east and I am west. Plus, he is much more social by nature than I methinks.
I focused on emotional pain because I have more experience with it - even the knee pain I live with daily is not that significant to me and the fact that my wife died a little over 4 years ago has kept the emotional pain in the forefront.
You say life is full of mystery and undercurrents, I say life IS mystery and undercurrents that collide and intersect to form the tapestry of life.