Disappointment 3/6/2020

This week's topic is Disappointment and it was my suggestion. It is the first topic for the 4-on-1 blogging group,  being joined by Sanjana this week as our ranks continue to expand. There is further expansion in the wind as we will soon  be rejoined by one of the original Loose Bloggers. Please be sure to check the other 3 current members for their takes on Disappointment - Ramana, Padmum & Sanjana.

Life consists of a succession of events, large and small, happy and sad, good and bad. How we react to those events coupled with the events themselves offers the roadmap of our lives. Often - if not always - it is how we react to the disappointing outcomes that shapes the quality of our lives. For instance if in school you did poorly on an exam, you study harder for the next one to elicit a more satisfactory result on the next exam, or as  in my case to simply survive the course (calculus). I earned a hard fought C in that course, a grade that would be unacceptable in any other course. I studied my rear end off to get that C, and I was proud of it plus it convinced me I was at the limit of my mathematical competency, and so I would be ill-advised to pursue any occupation requiring higher math.

We are often told here in the USA that we can be or do anything we want if we work hard enough. That simply is not always the case - whether I wanted it or not I could never be a world-class sprinter, although for my size I was considered very fast as a defensive lineman and ran very competitive 40-yard sprints, something that is important to an American-style football lineman. As a child and through my teens the thing I most wanted to be was a baseball pitcher. I could

look the part, as the photo shows but alas - in coaches eyes I was more suited for football and eventually injuries put an end to my dreams of being a professional baseball player. I was able to continue with the sport well into my forties by playing softball. I adapted to the disappointment (no more baseball)by changing my expectations and more closely aligning them with my abilities. Although hitting a softball over 300 feet, it was not the same as hitting a baseball 400 feet (which I did on several occasions), playing softball was one of my favorite activities.

Of course the example above is  not one of life's major disappointments - there were certainly several of those aka the death of an infant sibling, the death of my wife, the loss of a close friend and more. In each case, my response to the event dictated how life would be from that event on. Choices I made after those events pointed me in directions that would land me in North Carolina, far and away my least favorite of the many places I have lived. In fact, I am headed back there on the last day of March, a major disappointment as I had hoped my return to California last August would be permanent. However, the way I respond to the disappointment will likely dictate how my relationship with my 2 children living there remains fractured or can be repaired. A very special friend has pointed out some of my shortcomings in that regard and suggested options that could very well be the salve that leads to healing. Time will tell.

Though we cannot eliminate disappointment from our lives, we certainly can impact it by aligning our expectations more closely with reality or by recognizing what was once a disappointment may be in hindsight the correct outcome. I am not suggesting we stop dreaming or telling our kids to dream big. I am  suggesting we recognize the value of realigning those expectations and realizing that what we want is  not always what we need.

 I firmly believe that by constantly realigning our dreams and actions to more closely reflect our individual realities as we travel down life's highways and by ways, life will never get boring and will ultimately not be disappointing when taken in total. Treat people well and you will stay ahead of the curve. 

That's my shack take on Disappointment, so I'll see ya next week, same bat time and same bat channel.