Sunday, May 27, 2012

What's it all about Alfie???? Part I

While family has always been important to me family history has not been.  I mean after all - I am the adopted son of an adopted son of an adopted son, which makes the comments of the folks in the local pub when my grandfather, dad and I were having a few drinks just before my grandfather died somewhat humorous.  They were trying to convince us how clear it was that we were family, etc.  We just smiled and thanked them and then laughed our asses off as Mac (grandpa) was an adopted McConvey from Canada, Jac (dad) an adopted McConvey from Colorado and me also an adopted McConvey.  Adopted cubed - that's me.

 My  sperm donor - Paul Wesley Brooke  (aka Wes)- was pretty much a forbidden topic all throughout my life and for whatever her reason my mother chose to lie to me about him from the time I was 13 or so.  And her dad - Harry L Higgins - was persona non-grata in the Higgins clan because my grandmother Sheila - who raised me for 9.5  years - was not particularly popular with the Higgins clan. My grandmother hated Paul. I have since found out why.  More on that later. 

Why even bring this stuff up?  There's a  TV show on NBC called Who Do You Think You Are wherein celebrities trace their roots. I stumbled across it and became a fan. I think it's important a family know it's roots.

I spent some time a couple of years ago looking for info about We.  What I discovered wasn't particularly shocking other than the lies my mother perpetuated until her death. This guy was so bad his own family - the Brooke family -will not speak to me. His nephews - my first cousins - have both blocked me on facebook and one stated that because of Wes's "troubles" they simply couldn't be bothered.  Fortunately one of their nephews married a nice lady that went to and developed a lot of their family history so it is available for me to pass on to my kids and grandkids. I always knew there was more to the story as every birthday and Christmas up througfh my HS graduation I received a gift from a mysterious Grandma Grace. And when I was about 13 I had to spend an entire day with a mysterious aunt and her family.  Guess I didn't make much of an impression as that was the last time I ever heard from her.  She supposedly stayed in touch with my mom but who knows.

So Wes old pal - I assume it's hot where you are but this one's for you.  Everything I am I owe to to not giving in to the dark side you gave me.  You spent your life in jail and hated by your family.  I now know why my dark side exists but you lose buddy.  I won.

 That takes the sting out of the McConvey clan member that was so excited to find a McConvey in Texas that he emailed me and started up a conversation a number of years ago.  After a couple of emails when I mentioned I was an adopted McConvey I was politely told to not bother him again.  I hope he is still enjoying success in his cleaning business in Belfast.  I'm still entitled to call myself Irish though as the O'Higgins clan emigrated to the states and ended up in New Mexico. Somewhere along the way they lost the O' - perhaps Indians stole it in a raid on their stagecoach business.

Chapter II tomorrow.  This is proving to be cathartic.



  1. I do not have television (by choice) but am aware of a a series 'Who Do You Think You Are' about local people and minor celebrities in the UK. There were many surprises uncovered in the making of same.

    Losing the 'O' is common even in Ireland. My own family name was Molony on both sides, Mammy's family had an added 'e' Moloney. Tracing back for a family tree we discovered that the spelling jumped sides about 6-7 generations ago. Yes, daddy's side used the added 'e' back then, and mammy's side had not gained it at that stage.

    All families have skeletons in the cupboard (In Ireland, alcohol is never far from the surface.)and these skeletons provide the colour and shape to who we become.

    1. You mention alcohol like it's a bad thing GM :-) Saving grace for me is I only drink "good" stuff which I rarely can afford - I mean $50 and up per bottle.

      No TV? Could never happen here as I have 3 grandkids living here -

  2. Thank your lucky stars you are just cubed and not diced too!

    Catharsis is good for you. I can go on and on about what bothers me in person and in writing and find that it is very restoring. My roots are not as colourful as yours, but there have been some mavericks in the past including my father about who I shall eventually write a cathartic post. Suffice it to say that I find it sad that he has become what he has.

  3. Colorful roots? But R - they're just dark brown!!!! As to your father - I can see mixed emotions - sadness over what he is mixed with happiness that he still is here.