Popularity - some people max theirs out in high school, some later and some never achieve it. I once had a very heated conversation about high school with a very close friend who hated her high school experience. She claimed it was only natural would like high school - I was a big-time jock, which caused me to laugh heartily. I tried to explain to her that being a defensive lineman on a team that won one game in two years was no ticket to popularity but she would not hear it. No matter what I said, she was convinced I was Mr. Popular.
Popularity is an interesting beast. Some people spend their entire lives seeking it, some people never seek it and some people have it thrust upon them suddenly out of the blue. People that constantly seek popularity are the unhappiest people I know because they are so busy striving for popularity they do not realize they forget to live. The level of narcissism required to always strive for popularity can be disastrous if the individual has a massive ego. He/she can easily begin to think more highly of themself and even believe they know more than the experts - folks like Generals and scientists whose jobs are to advise the leaders. Egos get in the way and dangerous suggestions can magically appear - stuff like injecting one's self with Lysol to kill a virus. Or one can be so keen to win an election and he/she makes decisions that can cost people their lives but what the hell - they are old and no longer useful to society and they are not fans of the leader. But that is what can happen when you vote for change and hire a pathological liar to run things. Nothing that has happened in this country should be a surprise to anyone that was paying attention when the current administration was taking office. They were very upfront about deconstructing the administrative state.
Clearly, that ranks as severe toxicity from a man who proved popular enough to win an election - and immediately began deregulating things - what the hell - polluted rivers be damned. Nor should the toxicity that has led to a tribal society that is at times downright scary. Anyone not concerned when armed militia members showed upon Michigan - IMHO there is a well-armed faction in this country actively seeking to revive the Civil War. Coupled with the greatest discrepancy in levels of wealth and a conservative class that sees it as their patriotic, civic duty to make as much money as possible, we may yet see shooting conflicts erupt in several states.
One might get the impression reading this ditty that I am not optimistic about our future. One would be correct to think that.
One thing is certain - things are changing and we all know change is inevitable, but change has not been as toxic as we are witnessing at any time in my memory. The upcoming elections the most important in our history. Perhaps - since the country was really built by robber barons, we should not be surprised where we have gotten ourselves. Maybe we deserve the new normal to be a return to the wild west.
Simply stated, there is little difference between the virtues and toxicities of popularity when it comes to our politics. The egos involved virtually guarantee conflict in these tribal times. Be sure to check the other members of the 5 on 1 team and see what they have to say about the topic chosen by our pal The Old Fossil - Ramana, Padmum, Sanjana & Conrad
I think you nailed both sides of the issue. Seeking popularity really is a perfect recipe for unhappiness. But, and knowing you I can see this, you were popular for the right reasons. It wasn't just your heroics on the football field. You have so much going for you at so many levels and you don't puff yourself up over it. Popularity by just being yourself.
ReplyDeleteThis was a short, crisp article that I quite enjoyed reading. I think you've covered both sides of this issue well!
ReplyDeleteThat a girl was insisting that you were a popular fellow and you were denying it says volumes about your personality. Don't ever make the mistake of comparing yourself to the likes of the people portrayed by you. That will be comparing onions to potatoes. Normally accepted people, popularly called popular, do not end up with toxicity. You did not. Amen.
ReplyDeleteI so do not agree with your take. Either you are popular or you are not. In some circles you are; in others you are not. Both we need to take on board. If only to learn about ourselves. And the eyes of others.
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing toxic about being popular (or not). Whether we are popular (or not) is entirely up to those we interact with. It is not up to US. A point I made over at Ramana's.
I am disappointed that (why, in a moment of self effacing?) you dispute(d) someone's take on how popular you were/are? I don't like it when people hide their shine in the shadow. False modesty and all that.
U
We'll have to agree to disagree U -self effacing? nope - just a discussion on having fun in HSwhich I did - not because of popularity but the fact I was so involved in sports, I was very shy and definitely not part of the cool crowd -
ReplyDeleteI met Chuck shortly after HS (too many decades ago). His love of sports was evident & real not because of the often ascribed popularity to those who played HS sports, but because of his own achievements & enjoyment in multiple sports. He had long conversations with my father about sport strategies & players which showed his respect of athleticism. Chuck was VERY shy, that I know personally, & he has never exhibited to my knowledge false modesty. He never felt he was popular & has always been grateful for the true friendships he made. When one knows Chuck, they know his passions, his insecurities, & his shine when he speaks of music & sports. He is thoroughly genuine and I feel very lucky to call him my dear friend!
ReplyDeleteI see a connected relationship between popularity and celebrity. I can't speak to what you would have been like in high school any more than I know what my husband, who lettered in all sports and was a musician, too, was like in those years when he also had a steady girlfriend. I can only guess that he was popular in H.S. though when we met many years later he never spoke of himself as being that during those years . Certainly the boys who participated in sports were generally also automatically popular in our school, regardless of our various sports teams win loss records. Girls who sought being their special girlfriends automatically were considered the popular girls in school. I'm not sure why all that was, it just seemed to be that way. There did seem to be cliques that developed but not to the degree that we all couldn't congenially interact with one another. I don't know how subsequent generations after my early fifties years evolved since there were social changes going into the sixties. Your friend may have perceived you as popular by her criteria, whatever you may have considered yourself.
ReplyDeleteAs for the rest of your commentary about the popularity of celebrity, I think it is very likely to have at least partially contributed to bringing us our current nation's leader -- certainly a travesty. The actions he's taken to undermine this nation's greatness and the concerns you present are very real. I do believe we still have hope and an opportunity to rectify some of the disastrous changes wrought.