When I was 3-1/2 years old my grandfather died. The significance is that my mother and I lived in the house he built in Pueblo, Colorado with my grandparents. My grandfather was a true outdoors man that hunted, fished and camped whenever possible. He owned his own construction business as an excavation contractor.
Had he not passed I would have been groomed in his business and I would have become a typical outdoors man. My grandfather's hunting buddy was a Taos Indian Chief. The Taos Indians were Anasazi. I would have had extensive contact with those indigenous people - something that never happened when my grandfather passed.
My grandma used to tell me how close my grandfather and I were - interesting considering my age. I actually called him daddy Harry. He took me fishing and one trip I remember sitting on his tractor wondering if there were any mountain lions watching me.
Another difference is I would have been a member of the Masonic Order known as the Shriners. Most of the male Higgins family members were Shriners. The females were members of the Eastern Star.
So how would that have changed my life? Had my grandfather lived, there is little likelihood my grandparents would have rented the basement to local JC athletes, which means my mother probably would never have met my step father, married him and moved to California. No California, no Lynn and no family - at least not the one I have spent 70 years with. I would have graduated from Pueblo Central High School, my mother's alma mater. I would have probably still been active in football and baseball but not wrestling as I was recruited to that team by the coach.
It's funny how many things have to align for events in our lives. Take meeting Lynn - she was at the party with her friend Sharon, both were home from BYU for Christmas. Sharon had a holiday job at Loards Ice Cream in Alameda. My friend Rick Smith's dad was part of the management team at Loards. He got his friend John Dailey a job. John was driving the delivery truck and met Sharon. John - realizing what a "hero" he'd be by bringing a new girl to the party invited Sharon who in turn asked if she could bring Lynn along. Now John could be an even bigger hero - LOL, and of course said sure.You can read the full tale of that meeting here.
I have stated many times in the past, life is about changes and how we deal with them. Look at any major event in your life and examine the myriad conditions that had to align for the outcome achieved. Life is really a giant domino fall.
Your life might well have been different as you describe, but as I have often noted such speculations typically describe only positive evolutions. Reality is there might well have been some quite different scenarios less positive develop in this strange world in which we live.
ReplyDeleteI’m sure my life would have been different had my father been in my life, or would it have been more problematic? My life might have evolved differently in numerous instances had I made choices other than those I did, but what would have been the outcome — the goal I envisioned for myself or might i have been carried away with my success?
Sure there are negative ramifications - not having Lynn and the kids being primary. But we are who we are and I suspect things would have been similar,
DeleteI never knew my maternal grandparents as they had died long before my parents got married. My paternal grandparents were available but somewhat remote from their grandchildren. I had very little to do with them too as from my mid teens I moved out of our home to be on my own. In my childhood, my hero was my father's younger brother who stayed so till he died in 1999. Our paths rarely crossed but, when they did, we got along like a couple of houses on fire together.
ReplyDeleteOther than that from the family, my life was on auto cruise drive with the elder family having little to do with it. That is why I had to choose my wife's illness as the most significant event that changed the course of my life. Quite whether it did for the better or worse I can't choose but, change it did and I am still around to think about it often.
I thought about caregiving for Lynn but the mst changes would have come from the scenario I described. Massive differences in my choice of friends also have a huge impact - what is good in me comes from the people I associated with as I have a very dark side that is kept under wraps.
ReplyDeletethe marine and I have sometimes talked about this.
ReplyDeletebut it's like you say in your last line to Joared…
"But we are who we are and I suspect things would have been similar"
after Bob died I had an offer from an outrageously wealthy family to be their Nanny and take care of their two young children. it would have meant travelling overseas and who knows where.
I decided not to take it because I wanted to be here and close to my only nephew (M/Sgt Mike) and watch him grow up. which I did! and I have no regrets in that.
it's a fascinating and appealing question though.
I do know that if my father had been alive I would never have been allowed to marry a man 10 years older than I at my age of barely 19! even at that it was a good marriage. and my memories are wonderful.
My grandfather's death was easily the one that had the greatest impact as I likely would have never left Colorado - a definite game changer.
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