A deadline is nothing but a time limit or constraint put on some activity – getting the paper done in school, getting the report to the boss at work – things like that.Deadlines make the procrastinator’s job simple –he/she has a time (the dreaded deadline) to ignore, thus removing the stress of trying to get whatever he/she is supposed to get done when it is supposed to be done. Thus the procrastinator floats merrily along without a care in the world. Time is on his/her side. Hmm – sounds like a song segue to me. What, me worry is his/her attitude.
Deadlines are the anal person’s friend too since deadlines give them the structure their analness (is that even a word?) needs. The truly anal will be done early – time won’t let them just get it done on time. Yep – another song segue.
Deadlines and time go together like chocolate and peanut butter. You can't have one without the other. And of course there is that Friday LBC deadline. Sigh - every Thursday it's a mad scramble to find the topic. And then, honestly it's the first thing I do Friday morning. Procrsatination? Well I prefer to think of it as having the unique ability to say what I want without constant revision. (Procrastinator's rule #9). I just sit and type. Of course with my typing skills spellcheck is critical. The actual writing is relaxing and somewhat cathartic. Deadlines, you see, are my friend. And speaking of relaxing, the next tune (sax by Denis Payton) and as cup of coffee are just the ticket!
Care giving. That's this weekc LBC topic, brought to us by Ramana.
I am admittedly somewhat biased on this topic as I am the primary care giver for my wife of 40 years, Lynn. Here's what she looked like 1/1/1972 when we got married. Never confuse fat with stupid - I picked a holiday so I'd never forget my anniversary, and it worked.
Lynn inherited a genetic condition from her father called Huntington's Disease - sometimes called Huntingtons Chorea. To the uninitiated, think of it as a combination of Alzheimers and Parkinson's rolled up in one ugly disease. It is incurable and a death sentence - not only to the person with the disease but to the family in many cases. There is a 50% chance the offspring of a person with HD will inherit the gene and be doomed to have HD. We have 2 kids. They have not yet been tested for a myriad of reasons. I see my job as care giver as doing whatever I can to keep the family together - no mean feat as we are the definition of dysfunctional in many ways - and do whatever possible for Lynn. Lynn has the mental capacity of a petulant 5-yr. old these days. She has trouble controlling her bodily functions. She nearly choked to death twice last week due to a loss of control of the muscles that allow us to swallow. If she wants something and is told no, I hear her chant "I hate you and hope you f***ing die" for 30 minutes or so. That happens more than once daily.
Our daughter and her family live with us and Jamie trys to assist me. She does the best she can but...
So why do it? The reason is simple - Lynn has nobody else. It is simply the right thing to do. I am no saint. Lynn has had 15 or more years of her life stolen from her. Whatever chance we had for a happy end to our relationship has been stolen from us. Knowing now the root cause of the troubles that started 15-20 years ago does nothing but explain them. It is too late for healing those wounds. The girl I married essentially left the building as it were 10 or so years ago. Until last year there were occasional flashes of that person. The pic above is the last one taken in which Lynn doesn't look like a raving lunatic. She's holding her youngest grandson - now 21/2. He will never know her for the loving, doting grandmother she used to be. Her oldest granddaughters are rapidly forgetting that grandma as well.
In the midst of her rants or those times she gets violent - another common occurence with HD - it can be very very difficult. The fact that she is still strong as an ox does not make matters easier. We just take it one day at a time. When she asks the same question for the 30th time we try not to snap at her. We are not always successful. When she's into one of her I hate you... rants I try to ignore her. She doesn't mean it. She couldn't. But there's always that nagging thought down deep that she does mean it and everything about the last 40 years has been a fraud. But I prefer to think we started off like this...
Again - why do it? I believe we are dealt a hand of cards in life. Several in fact. Many times the hand is not one of our choosing. But we must simply play the cards we are dealt. There's nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. Lynn did not intentionally inherit the gene that has decimated her life. It's common knowledge that bad things happen to good people. Guess it was her turn. I've been called a saint and I've been asked what I did to deserve this kharmic backlash. Both comments seriously offered by well meaning people. Guess that means I am either amazing or I am to blame. I suppose the comment that galls me the most is the one about god opening a window when she slams a door. Or vice versa. I can never keep that one straight. Fact is, stuff happens and this is our stuff. I will continue to persevere and care for my wife. As long as she is here my life is fairly well locked down. If she's awake I need to be near to keep her as calm as possible. And if one day I am dealt another hand well - we'll see how that one goes. As it stands now we are here...
That's my take on Care Giving. Basically you do it because it's the right thing to do. You do it because you care for the person you are caring for. And you try and maintain a degree of sanity. Your sanity. And remember - it's OK to get frustrated and occasionally angry. But keep playing. And Grannymar and Ramana - I'm trying to handle this with as much aplomb as the two of you.
Conrad - aka the The Old Fossil - posed an interesting question for this week's LBC topic. Everyone knows the old glass half full or half empty question. Trouble is, some people don't even have a glass.
So - it it more realistic to view the world in a positive light or vice versa? Like most intellectual exercises there is no pat answer. Obviously for some folks optimism works whereas for others pessimism makes more sense. The optimist - says the pessimist - is destined to be repeatedly disappointed while the optimist says to the pessimist you will forever be pleasantly surprised!
The realist simply says you'll both get what you expect out of life if you put in the effort. Oh - that's a good one - the very broad-brushed term "effort". Truth is, if you work hard, treat others fairly and the way you wish to be treated, you'll probably achieve a fair degree of success in your life. Now the definition of that success is purely personal and subjective. If money is your motivator, simply check your bank account. If - like most people - you judge yourself on a broader landscape, simply examine the results piece by piece.
Some judge themselves harshly, That is their perogative. The pessimist sees himself/herself in a much harsher light than does the optimist in my opinion. But both are constantly seeking to improve. The pessimist can seem like a harsher critic to others but that isn't necessarily true. I find the pessimistic approach to criticism much more direct - with optimistoc criticism you have to read between the lines to get at the heart of the critique. The pessimist lays it out in clear, concise terms.
So the answer to Fossil's question is yes. And no. The Fossil himself is essentially an oiptimist most of the time. I hope he isn't too disappointed by the responses to his query. I suspect he'll be pleasantly surprised.
Is the Boss an optimist or a pessimist??
Does it get more optimistic than an 80 plus year old singing the optimist's anthem?
Welcome to the weekly LBC post. This weeks topic - Nicknames - comes via Paul (Blackwatertown).
Nicknames can be fun, informative and/or cruel. Some are logical - take mine - Shackman - for instance. I'm called Shackman because I have worked at RadioShack for over 25 years. Several other nicknames attached to me come from my given name - Charles. I happen to hate the name Charles - it's way too formal sounding. Now Chuck - its most common nickname - suits me just fine. One old friend calls me Charlie - a name I am not overly fond of but from Dave it works, likewise Chas. That's Charles abbreviated and one of my oldest friends refers to me that way. Then there's the family nickname - Bubba. There's a 10 and 11 year age difference between my sister, brother and I. When they were little they could not say brother - it came out Bubba and it stuck. Of course that means my five nieces between the two of them call me Uncle Bubba which then assumed a life of its own as several friends' kids call me Uncle Bubba. One common nickname for folks with an McC or Mac last name is Mac - for some reason nobody ever called me that but it is my brother's nickname amongst nearly all of his friends and coworkers. And lastly there's what my buddy Bob and his wife call me - Big. Can't get much simpler (or accurate) than that.
Then there are nicknames for groups. Take The Wrecking Crew for example. You may not know that name but if you are a fan of sixties/seventies pop/rock music produced in Los Angeles then you may not know the Wrecking Crew but you do know their work.
Motown had The Funk Brothers -
Sports and entertainment are bastions of nicknames and with the substantial sums of money involved these days nicknames become a very important part of the individuals brand. Frankly that takes some of the fun out of it but what do I know. Shaq, Captain Marvel, The Refrigerator (I was occasionally The Freezer), The Haryana Hurricane, Bhaji and Captain Cool are just a few from a variety of sports. Entertainment offers Duke (named after his pet dog), The Boss, The Fab Four, The Velvet Fog, The Man in Black, The Rat Pack and The Chairman of the Board to name a few.Check out the Velvet Fog -
Light. Hmmmm - not heavy? Nah – that doesn’t fit my multi-X before the L circumferentially challenged self. Something that makes vision possible? Well sure – that’s a blinding flash of the obvious. And isn’t a blinding flash of the obvious something that enlightens or informs? One certainly hopes so.
How about a noteworthy person in a particular place or field – as in Ramana, Fossil, David, Paul, Grannymar et al – in fact any individual member of the LBC. All leading lights in the blogging world. They enlighten, inform and entertain as they shed light on any given topic. Hey – that’s almost a twofer!
Clearly light is a multifaceted, nuanced word with many meanings. It’s a spiritual awakening in your hour of need. The all-changing epiphany. In its purest form light is the truth – which is why so much political discourse here of late is dark and dreary.
It appears light is whatever you need it to be whenever you need it so light is also politically correct. Or not.
Perhaps light is not something you can pigeon-hole. Light gets outside the lines. Gee – that makes sense unless the lines are walls, ceilings and floors at which time light is boxed. But is that really true if you are not there to see the light? And to open a door to look lets the light escape. Makes the room go dark. So light is the absence of dark? It’s all so confusing. Sigh.
I hope you enjoyed this brief light-hearted look at this weeks topic. As for me – it’s lights out time. But first, thanks Will for making us all think. Please check the opther LBC writers for their take on this subject. See how Will lit their fires. Anu, Delirious, gaelikaa, Grannymar, Maxi, Maria SF, ocdwriter, Padmum, Paul, The Old Fossil and Wil
This week's LBC topic is your first memory. I'm looking forward to seeing what the other members of the LBC have to say - I hope they had as much fun reminiscing as I did - please check them out and see what they had to say about the Old Fossil's chosen topic
r, Anu, Delirious, gaelikaa, Grannymar, Maxi, Maria SF, ocdwriter, Padmum, Paul, The Old Fossil and Will.
My first memory is a jumble of things. I remember the first day of kindergarten, Miss Knobbs the teacher and several of the other kids. I remember my grandmother's pal Peggy Mitchell visiting us in her Desoto and the case of Coke she kept in her back seat. She always had a Coke in her hand. I remember going to Trinidad and Walsenburg to visit Aunt Edith and Uncle Milo and their son Marko. Marko had kids a bit older than me - all girls - and my cousins.
Aunt Edith and Uncle Milo owned the café at the bus station in Trinidad and she was a great cook. Whenever she visited us in Pueblo she made fresh ravioli - even at the tender age of 4 or 5 I recognized true heaven on a plate. Plus there were sheets of freshly made pasta hanging all over while she made the meal. Uncle Milo was a curmudgeonly old guy - their last name was Kalabich and they were immigrants from an eastern European country - but I'm not sure which one.
There was also a great aunt from Dallas I remember visiting us. Aunt Emma Lou (very southern ya know). Her visits stand out because she insisted on having a treat nightly before retiring - vanilla ice cream with cereal on it and I was always invited to join her. The first Christmas I recall was the one my grandmother made me a Hopalong Cassidy outfit. Grandma was an excellent seamstress - as you can see.
All of these things I recall from ages 4-5 - it's all a bit of a jumble but a very fond jumble. It was fun revisiting the memories. Speaking of memories, here's an appropriate tune for the subject
Clearly I made a wise decision to jump into the LBC pond this week rather than last week. This week's topic is the cold beer to last week's very hot, sunny day. Call it what you will - there's no god in this weeks post. Well - unless of course one of the other members spoke to her. Or him. Or it. The LBC (Loose Bloggers Consortium) is a group of bloggers that write on the same subject each Friday and they are spread far and wide - India, Ireland, New Zealand, California and more. A varied group with a myriad of opinions on most everything.
Bob called. We made arrangements to meet Saturday at the 7th Street Movie Tavern for a 10:30 AM showing of Prometheus in 3D. This will be my first exposure to the current 3D technology so I'm almost as interested in that aspect as I am the movie. Those of you unfamiliar with the Movie Tavern can check it out here -- DFW 7th Street Movie Tavern - it's really an amazing place.
Reginald called yesterday. I should say Reginald's butt called me. As he was not there when I answered the phone, I called him back and he was rather sheepish about the non-call. I suggested he find another pocket in which to keep his phone.
Lastly I spoke to our landlord about needed repairs on the house we rent. As usual she was responsive and dispatched appropriate service.
Nary an interesting conversation amongst the lot. These days those tend to be via email or blogs - more out of necessity than desire. Or maybe I'm just anti-social. Who knows.
It's ALoha Friday as we used to say in Hawaii - here's a tune to get you started. Or help you finish your day. Enjoy.
So that's my first LBC entry. I'm looking forward to the fun - I've been reading this gang of posters for over a year and sometimes commenting. Please check out the others -
