Its that time again. Once a year everything you read and see is suspect because it is April 1. April fools day. Interestingly enough, this election year here in the U.S.A. virtually everyday has seemed like April fools day with the outlandish nonsense that is spouted by one or more candidates. It is hard to believe that one of the five remaining candidates could be our next president. There's a septuagenarian Jew, a criminal former secretary of state, a Canadian vampire, the orange-faced spawn of an orangutan and wrinkled, worn-out looking John Kasich. But enough politics. Time for a musical interlude.
Then there is this.....
Following a recent product leak, Facebook executives have confirmed rumors
of an unprecedented new feature which will automatically scan your Facebook
News Feed for opinions, datasets, and scientific facts which might possibly
upset you--then alter them to match your beliefs.
"We think the
public is going to love this new feature," a Facebook correspondent informed The
Satirist. "People don't want to deal with other folks' opinions unless
those opinions agree with their own. Facebook's new feature will fix this
problem, so everyone will seem to think what you think."
Back in April 2015, Facebook launched a beta version of this feature, which met with
"I used to have to read about scientists believing that climate change is real," says one happy
beta-tester. "Now, whenever I read my news feed, it tells me that science says climate
change is bogus!"
The new feature employs
extensive AI (Artificial Intelligence) to identify and adjust offending
material--including (but not limited to): peer-reviewed articles, political
propaganda, poorly-spelled rage rants, pie charts, linear regressions, and
"We're tired of Google
Search holding the monopoly on validating the internet's confirmation
biases," our Facebook correspondent explained. "We want people to be able to
use the Facebook network to reach the conclusion that the bulk of humanity
already believes what they believe."
Facebook plans to
release this feature to its general users this upcoming fall, expecting the
release to finally put an end to book-length, poorly-written inflammatory rants
about how other people have all the facts wrong.
Thank you Satirist Newsletter.
Reader beware -
See ya next week,same bat time, same bat channel for more LBC discussion