Regulations. It's all about regulations. Its all for the greater good. It simply isn't safe to have fat guys in red suits running around in sleighs without brake lights. Even with the plethora of new cars being advertised that stop on their own. People traveling behind that sleigh should all have the opportunity to be warned by brake lights.
And another thing - do reindeer poop when pulling that sleigh? How many sleigh followers have had their windshields covered in reindeer poop? Clearly another safety issue. Another regulation needed, to be sure. We need to make travel safe for all, don't ya know.
And that bag. Clearly Mr. Claus cannot see clearly behind him with that big bag - at least for half of his trip. Another regulation crying to be in place.
Clearly we must consider regulating Christmas to keep everyone safe from that accident waiting to happen - aka Santa in his sleigh. I mean he has already taken out Grandma. Who is next? We simply cannot allow this to continue unregulated. We have plenty of time ot get this atrocity before the holiday season assaults our senses with Christmas ads, floating heads Santas and barking dogs.
This weeks tussle with insanity was suggested by Lin.
This weeks topic comes from the fertile mind of Lin - methinks this is her musical equivalent of a fractal equation from her mathematician better half. How did she even know a buffalo petite such as I had a dancing school diploma? Alas - when the knees go so does the dancing and my knees are long gone. Diploma expired. Condemned to sitting and watching. Aided by a few adult beverages. Another of those life changing events. I have mentioned before that at one time I was a member of a Polynesian dance troupe. True story. One of the many things I did was the Samoan fire knife.I was pretty good at it too - but admittedly was never as good looking as the guy in this photo but I could do the knife tricks. The Samoan knife dances sere the mostr fun things we did as far as I was concerned but the Maori Hakas were a close second. - maybe because those bead skirts were more manly that th egrass skirts we wore for Tahitian.
. New Zealand sport teams perform hakas prior to international matches - check out the American pro basketball player responses in this one.
My dancing career lasted about three years and ended about the time I quit playing football in college. Lynn was not thrilled about the coed dressing rooms and stuff like that.The friend that got me involved is now a well respected Kumu with a professional dance troupe he He's been one of my best friends since sixth grade. And there are NO existing photos of me in a grass skirt Ramana so don't ask.
Fresh on the heels of last weeks Old Days comes this weeks topic - Aging. Ramana proposed the topic and since he does not eat meat I think it is a safe assumption he was not thinking wet or dry when he conjured said topic.
Truth be told, when you consider wet and dry aging both refer to methods of meat spoilage allegedly to increase the flavor maybe Rummy has the right idea.
Now when it comes to adult beverages like wine and single-malt whiskey. aging does improve the taste. I have personally experimented numerous times over the years and can conclusively say it is a fact. 12-yr old Glenlivet is excellent, 18-yr and 21-yr old Glenlivet are even better. I suspect the adage holds true for other adult beverages although most of my experience is with single-malts and red wine - along with beer. And
even though I am not a wine aficionado by any stretch of the
imagination, I know last weeks Merlot will taste better in a yea
From the moment of our birth we begin the aging process until it stops. As part of the process we grow up - and out. Our hair changes color, typically going to some shade of gray. In some cases the hair flees the scene. But no matter what, there are fundamental things that occur as we age.
Joints may ache due to years of abuse or arthritis. Some places on our body may sag a bit as we age. And occasionally we have memory lapses. But through it all, the aging process is just that - a process. Every day it moves us toward the end of the line. Speaking of which - it is time to see what the other LBC posters have to say about aging.
This weeks topic was my suggestion. Were the old days really better than today? Certainly there were good days - we were all kids once. Playing baseball every day during the summer. Watching favorite TV shows with friends and family. Playing jacks with Sally Ann Ransdell (she whipped my butt regularly). Saturday at the Uptown Theater for an entire day of horror movies Saturdays or the Bowery Boys laugh fests with Leo Gorcey and Huntz Hal.
At the same time a substantial part of the population lived a lie - in the closet hiding their homosexuality. Real careers were only a dream for 50% of the population. The female half. And in many parts of the country segregation was the order of the day. In my home town it wasn't always an obvious thing but it was there bubbling beneath the surface. All of which reminds me of a line from one of my favorite songs - Yesterdays over my shoulder but I can't look back for too long. There's just too much to see waiting in front of me and I know that I just can't go wrong with these changes in attitude, changes in latitude". Life is about change. Drink your nostalgic kool aid on occasion and play this tune once in a while.
Now to some the old days pertains to today. Every day. At 66 most days I feel my age in my joints. That's my fault for not taking better care of myself physically over the years. But remember that old adage "Everyone grows old but not everyone grows up". That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Its that time again. Once a year everything you read and see is suspect because it is April 1. April fools day. Interestingly enough, this election year here in the U.S.A. virtually everyday has seemed like April fools day with the outlandish nonsense that is spouted by one or more candidates. It is hard to believe that one of the five remaining candidates could be our next president. There's a septuagenarian Jew, a criminal former secretary of state, a Canadian vampire, the orange-faced spawn of an orangutan and wrinkled, worn-out looking John Kasich. But enough politics. Time for a musical interlude.
Then there is this.....
Following a recent product leak, Facebook executives have confirmed rumors
of an unprecedented new feature which will automatically scan your Facebook
News Feed for opinions, datasets, and scientific facts which might possibly
upset you--then alter them to match your beliefs. "We think the
public is going to love this new feature," a Facebook correspondent informed The
Satirist. "People don't want to deal with other folks' opinions unless
those opinions agree with their own. Facebook's new feature will fix this
problem, so everyone will seem to think what you think." Back in April 2015, Facebook launched a beta version of this feature, which met with
unanimous applause. "I used to have to read about scientists believing that climate change is real," says one happy
beta-tester. "Now, whenever I read my news feed, it tells me that science says climate
change is bogus!" The new feature employs
extensive AI (Artificial Intelligence) to identify and adjust offending
material--including (but not limited to): peer-reviewed articles, political
propaganda, poorly-spelled rage rants, pie charts, linear regressions, and
more. "We're tired of Google
Search holding the monopoly on validating the internet's confirmation
biases," our Facebook correspondent explained. "We want people to be able to
use the Facebook network to reach the conclusion that the bulk of humanity
already believes what they believe." Facebook plans to
release this feature to its general users this upcoming fall, expecting the
release to finally put an end to book-length, poorly-written inflammatory rants
about how other people have all the facts wrong.
Editor's note: This article is a satirical, fake news piece. It is not factual.
Thank you Satirist Newsletter. Reader beware -
See ya next week,same bat time, same bat channel for more LBC discussion
My old friend Lin has once again offered up a challenging topic for this weekly blog exercise. She is able to mine amazing depth from seemingly innocuous topics.
Easter has always perplexed me a bit. Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus - and knowingly celebrates it at the wrong time of year as well as coinciding with a pagan winter holiday. Well fine. But, the cornerstone of Christianity is eternal life represented by being born again" and promised everlasting life in the form an afterlife for the faithful. So how is it celebrated? Baskets of candy, colorful Easter eggs hunted by kids and the Easter Bunny as a symbol. Frankly it all seems more than a bit insulting to me. Oh - then there is the dressing up part wherein folks dress in their sartorial finery and head off to church - many for the first time of the year.
But enough complaining! On to Easter Eggs.
I have very fond memories of coloring Easter Eggs with my kids. And of hiding same and watching the kids - along with friends - scramble around the yard looking for them. Why? According to History.com the egg, an ancient symbol of new life, has been associated with pagan
festivals celebrating spring. From a Christian perspective, Easter eggs
are said to represent Jesus’ emergence from the tomb and resurrection.
Decorating eggs for Easter is a tradition that dates back to at least
the 13th century, according to some sources. Hmm - there's that pagan thing again.
Hot cross bunnies??
Now you may find this somewhat hard to believe but of all the pastries in the world my absolute least favorite happens to be hot cross buns, clearly the inspiration for hot cross bunnies and so even with a good cup of coffee handy for dunking, I'll pass. And it occurs to me y'all may think i am a humbug Easter guy. Not true.
Anything that brings joy to kids and others is a good thing. And while I am admittedly not one of the faithful, I do NOT begrudge anyone (unless they are attempting to blow up innocent people) their faith. I say Merry Christmas and Happy Easter to them all. And pass the ham - I'd like some more. But religion? Anyone that knows me knows where I stand.
For the faithful I offer this tune - not a hymn but if you listen to the lyrics it is profoundly spiritual.
